12 Thoughts I Have While Showering With Another Body

1. Farewell to the sweet charade of my producing no organic scent and simply burning away dirt through the pure, white heat of my spirit.

2. I have to pee but if I pee the pee water will be around both our feet like a pee pond help. 

3. My mascara is not waterproof and will now run down my face as the coal-black claw marks of a witch.

4. I must appear as a bathing naiad, and yet I must also actually clean my butt though for real. So I don't know if you want to read the shampoo bottles for a second or..? 

5. This slippery fucker has never seen anything so erotic as me lathering my womanly bosom, oh yes, fucking Venus over here.

6. And now I’m sudsing my tummy like a splish-splashy Pooh Bear.

7. This person has caught me off guard in terms of the actual quantity of hair on their ass and the quantity I was prepared for.

8. If you try to fuck me right now I’ll cram this loofah in my vagina like a cork.

9. I will never forgive you for not trying to fuck me right now and will dwell on the meaning of this until dawn. 

10. The weight-bearing capacity of all shower rods should be at least five humans and a dog.

11. My grandmother has probably had shower sex. Or maybe she hasn't. Neither option brings me joy. 

12. Everything about this is terrible.