19 Mildly Encouraging Thoughts

 

 

1. Somewhere, someone is being tickled.

2. That person who turned you down is going to die of something. Perhaps soon.

3. Maybe you can't play tennis, but neither could Jesus.

4. The current Duke of Devonshire is named Peregrine Andrew Morny Cavendish.

5. There's no substitute for intelligence, but the substitute for everything else is coconut oil.  

6. You always have the option of committing suicide by pie. 

7. That ceiling lamp that sort of looks like a boob.

8. How baby owls look. You think you know but you don't. Sublime and dreadful.

9. The movie theater ticket person has probably forgotten how you responded "you too" when she told you to enjoy the movie. Probably. 

10. With a strong enough neurosis you could sleep on fresh sheets every night. 

11. You can buy a giant bag of those tiny hot chocolate marshmallows.

12. You're probably better looking that at least one person. Someone out there has it worse in the face than you do. 

13. Otters fall asleep holding hands so that they won’t float apart. Which is fine. 

14. There's no real reason you can't fill your bathtub with instant pudding right now. 

15. Your dentist has seen worse teeth than yours. 

 16. Your great-grandchildren will probably do some really cool drugs. 

17. In my opinion, literally everything about Gillian Anderson.

18. You're a grown-up and no one can stop you from eating 47 cosmic brownies in a sitting. 

19. Bumblebees.